In Times of a Coronavirus Crisis, Masturbate
In the break room at school a few weeks ago, a colleague asked me if masturbation increases the strength of the immune system.
(Welcome to my world of being a human sexuality professor, and a typical question asked by colleagues, friends, and family.)
While answering her question, I began thinking to myself:
“Masturbating, what a wonderfully perfect activity for fighting the novel coronavirus and COVID-19.”
Before sharing my thoughts on the relationship between COVID-19 and masturbation, let me share with you what I told my colleague.
Does Masturbating Increase the Strength of the Immune System?
Three definitions are necessary to answer this question:
Masturbation is anything one does to themselves to bring pleasure and orgasm.
Orgasm is a neurophysiological release of muscular tension.
The immune system is composed of white blood cells, antibodies, the complement system, the lymphatic system, the spleen, the thymus, and bone marrow; all these parts of our bodies are designed to fight off the potentials of disease and keep us healthy.
With these definitions in mind, there is scientific evidence of masturbating to orgasm increasing white blood cells; therefore, the answer to the question of whether masturbating increases the strength of the immune system, is yes.
Scientists at the University Clinic of Essen Germany demonstrated this strengthening of the immune system by continuously monitoring white blood cell counts of people masturbating to orgasm. They found the sexual arousal and orgasm brought about by masturbating significantly increases people’s white blood cells — with a particular type of white blood cell having the greatest increases. (There are five types of white blood cells.) The type of white blood cell masturbating has the greatest positive effects on, is technically referred to as a CD3-CD16+CD56+ cell and commonly referred to as a Natural Killer or NK cell. NK cells fight tumors and virally infected cells.
By Increasing the Strength of the Immune System, Masturbating Fights against COVID-19
When I was sharing this answer with my colleague, I was thinking about COVID-19 and there currently being no cure or vaccine for it. The best way to not-get-infected with COVID-19 is increasing the strength of the immune system and social distancing — which often means being alone…
Hmm, I wonder what a person can be doing to strengthen their immune system while being alone?
Beyond increasing the strength of the immune system, masturbating is the ideal sympathetic nervous system activity for increasing feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters like oxytocin and dopamine; and decreasing distressing hormones like cortisol.
Additionally, masturbating is the perfect combination of self-exploration, learning, and exercise. It is associated with higher levels of self-esteem and a more lucid self-concept; is predictive of greater sexual satisfaction in relationships; and has been empirically demonstrated as decreasing the chances of getting cancer!
Bottom line — in times of a coronavirus crisis, you should be masturbating. It is not a 100% fool-proof protection against COVID-19, but it certainly will make you happier and more satisfied with your life. And when this coronavirus crisis comes to an end, the benefits from masturbating will continue!
Aboul-Enein, B. H., Bernstein, J., & Ross, M. W. (2016, July). Evidence for masturbation and prostate cancer risk: Do we have a verdict? Sexual Medicine Reviews, 4, 229–234. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27871956
Castellini, G., Fanni, E., Corona, G., Maseroli, E., Ricca, V., & Maggi, M. (2016, April 1). Psychological, relational, and biological correlates of ego-dystonic masturbation in a clinical setting. Sexual Medicine, 4, e156–e165. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5005301
Das, A. (2007, July–September). Masturbation in the United States. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 33, 301–317. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17541849
Driemeyer, W., Janssen, E., Wiltfang, J., & Elmerstig, E. (2017, May–June). Masturbation experiences of Swedish senior high school students: Gender differences and similarities. Journal of Sex Research, 54, 631–641. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27143221
Haake, P., Krueger, T.H., Goebel, M.U., et al. (2004). Effects of sexual arousal on lymphocyte subset circulation and cytokine production in man. Neuroimmunomodulation, 11, 293–298. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Uwe_Hartmann/publication/8395744_Effects_of_Sexual_Arousal_on_Lymphocyte_Subset_Circulation_and_Cytokine_Production_in_Man/links/00b7d52f8e1b80712a000000.pdf
Dr. Don Lucas, Ph.D. is a Professor of Psychology and head of the Psychology Department at Northwest Vista College in San Antonio Texas. He loves psychology, teaching, and research.
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